One liners -- Anonymous

•  When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.  
•  A calendar's days are numbered. 
•  A boiled egg is hard to beat. 
•  He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 
•  When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall. 
•   When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 
•  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 
• Acupuncture: a jab well done. 
• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 
• A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 
•  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 
•  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 
• A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 
• Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 
•  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
• A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 
• The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 
• When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 
• Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects