Thursday, October 7, 2010

One liners -- Anonymous

  •  When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.  
  •  A calendar's days are numbered. 
  •  A boiled egg is hard to beat. 
  •  He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 
  •  When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall. 
  •   When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 
  •  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 
  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done. 
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 
  •  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 
  •  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 
  •  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 
  • The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 
  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 
  • Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects

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